The Jay Leno Thing

Before getting into all of this, an update as of Tuesday April 1, 6:30pm:

After gay rights organization GLAAD urged Jay Leno to apologize for making derogatory remarks during a recent interview with actor Ryan Phillippe, the talk show host clarified his remarks in a statement.

"In talking about Ryan's first role, I realize that what I said came out wrong," Leno said. "I certainly didn't mean any malice. I agree it was a dumb thing to say, and I apologize."

I say: good for Jay.  I do wonder what will happen the next time an actor comes on who has some gayness in his career past, but that's to be dealt with in the future.

And also: GLAAD, come on.  This was heavily-saturated in the blogosphere for over a week before you decided it was worth pursuing.  And need I mention the fantastic work of Melissa McEwan, one of our invaluable straight allies?  GLAAD, you have a big megaphone -- USE IT BETTER.  Who is making the call these days in your organization?

And Mr. Leno, I apologize for being snarky about our phone call.  That was a bit of asshattery, I suppose.  I could very well mix up the name of the incident when the straight people revolted against oppression -- oh, wait, never mind.

Anyway.  This was another unexpected media spin-cycle.  Oy.  I'm much happier in the back of a theater, scribbling on a pad.

I'll say a good thing to come out of this: My Gayest Look.  It ceased to be about Jay Leno so much to me, but rather became a testament to the stunning diversity of gay people -- and many of our straight supporters, to be sure.  It's not a manicured, fussy bunch, but a rowdy mix of all ages and shapes and sizes and facial hairs.

Anyway.  My second letter is below.  I've taken it off of the front of the site because I'm ready to put this to bed.

And a one and a two and a ...

Jay!

About two years ago, after I wrote a letter to you, we had a half-hour phone chat. Over the course of our discussion, I managed to convince myself you weren't such a jerk after all.

But based on recent evidence, I realize my first instinct was right!

Not everyone can stomach you, I fear, so for those who can't, I'll do a little transcription.  You were interviewing Ryan Phillippe, whose first acting job was as a gay teenager on One Life to Live.  So naturally you homed in on how WEIRD and HILARIOUS it was that he played a GAY PERSON -- while Phillippe reasonably tried to shift the conversation to the larger issue of how weird it was to be on a soap opera.

But you couldn't be stopped!  You went for the comedy gold!

JAY:  Can you give me like -- say that camera is your gay lover -- number two --

PHILLIPPE:  Wait a second.  Wait a second.

JAY:  Can you give me your gayest look?  Say that -- say that camera is Billy Bob -- Billy Bob has just ridden in shirtless from Wyoming.

(Your sycophantic audience hoots with laughter at the idea of a strapping lad like Phillippe giving a "gay look.")

PHILLIPPE:  Wow.  That is so something I don't want to do.  Are you just going to embarrass me tonight, or --

JAY:  No, I got more stuff.  This is the least of it.

I've gotta ask: would you ask a guest to make their "blackest face?" Their "Jewiest face?" Why not? (I charitably imagine your answer to be, "Not all black/Jewish people are the same, so it's kind of offensive to think there's a 'black/Jewish face.'") Very good!

I'll back off. I received some criticism for being too heavy-handed with my last letter, so I won't mention this gay face or this gay face or this gay face or this gay face or this gay face or this gay face or this gay face or this gay face or this gay face or this gay face or this gay face or this gay face or this gay face or these gay faces or not to forget this gay face.  Which one's the gayest to you?

I bring those faces up because there's a group (with whom you are supposedly sympathetic) undergoing a major civil rights struggle, and you seem to adore using the stereotype that we're laughable and really, all the same in the end.

Like these gay faces:

(If any of these fellows are actually gay, I wouldn't know -- none of them came out of the closet.)

But back to our phone call!  To be honest, when we talked two years ago, there were a couple of moments in the call when you sounded like an ignoramus.  But I promised myself, in the spirit of generosity, not to share them with anybody.  In public, I said something like: "We both agreed that comedy is tough."

But now, since I'm convinced that you think gay people are just a little subhuman, that we're friendly but ultimately sad, and that moreover that all of us are the SAME ...

... I've decided to share the parts of our phone call that made me laugh a little inside.  They're of course based on recollection, but the main wording is emblazoned in my memory:

ME: I don't think you really understand that gay people have a long history, beyond being a bunch of hairdressers --

YOU: I know about gay history. I know about the Stonehill rebellion.

"Stonehill rebellion?"  Bitch, please.  And then this comment:

YOU: I have to say, I really think gay people have made a lot of progress.  There used to be a time when a straight guy would never go to a gay guy for advice on how to dress or look good, but it's totally different now.

Oh, those fashiony gays!

I don't know why you annoy me so much, Jay.  While the "South Park" guys go way further than you ever do, they're also, well, funny.  Maybe that's the difference.

Anyway, Jay, here's MY "gayest look":

Yours truly,

Jeff

What's your "gayest look?"

Melissa McEwan of Shakesville has been collecting some fantastic "gayest looks" from around the world.  We put up a special site to house the marvelous and ever-growing collection.  Give it a look-see, and then send on YOUR "gayest look!"

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